A confession, an apology and deep emotion....

...once more with feeling

I once was proud to call myself a scientist.

As defined by The Science Council a scientist is someone who systematically gathers and uses research and evidence, making a hypothesis and testing it, to gain and share understanding and knowledge.

A scientist can be further defined by:

how they go about this, for instance by use of statistics (Statisticians) or data (Data scientists)

what they’re seeking understanding of, for instance the elements in the universe (Chemists, Geologists etc), or the stars in the sky (Astronomers)

where they apply their science, for instance in the food industry (Food Scientist)

However all scientists are united by their relentless curiosity and systematic approach to assuaging it.

I cannot say that the above definition is any longer correct for all scientists.

I speak with peers who no longer are able to practice as they used to. They have been discredited, labelled, dishonoured, made redundant or cast out of their areas of practice as they all did not want to asign themselves to a reductionist, inhuman, unkind version of science.

I speak, they speak, in varying states of deep grief, deep mourning, pain, loss, suffering, denial, anger, and sorrow.

I am in a differing but similar space. I am self-employed, but now struggle to find organisations and people to work with who I feel actually want to change, want to create a better world, sincerely want to make that difference.

I fell into my passion area of work not by conscious design but by a series of events that drew me deeper into the workings of ecosystems. How we humans, just about survive, how we can thrive and everything inbetween in an ever changing landscape.

It has very much been an organic, holistic, labour of blood, sweat and tears, interspersed with my own personal health, wellbeing and psychological challenges. At the centre of it all though has been the love for humanity with the knowledge of just what we can achieve if we so desire to.

My list of qualifications is vast.

I have everything from studying ancient languages, civilisations and philosophies to molecular biology, neuroscience and psychology to teaching, sports, conditioning, nutrition, project management and in recent times herbal, plant medicines.

This is because of my vision and purpose in life, it has at various times needed me to learn new skills, gain new wisdom and apply new knowledge.

A polymath is a person with extensive knowledge or learning across multiple fields.

The term comes from the Greek word polymathēs, meaning "having learned much". Polymaths are often able to draw on their diverse knowledge to solve complex problems and innovate in unique ways.

Historically, figures like Leonardo da Vinci and Benjamin Franklin are celebrated as archetypal polymaths due to their contributions to various domains such as art, science, engineering, and literature.

The concept of a polymath embodies the Renaissance ideal that humans have limitless potential for development and should strive to excel in multiple areas.

My life journey, and the quest for supporting all to achieve the life that they wish to lead has very much mirrored that of a polymath, as I have built a rich tapestry of information and knowledge to create that within all that that I do.

This is in stark contrast to what is happening around us.

So much so that I have to confess, I am no longer proud to call myself a scientist.

There has been an unceasing march into reductionism. The breaking down of the complex whole into ever decreasing simplistic parts. This can be dangerous practice, escpecially when considering relationships, inter-connectedness and collaboration (or not).

It is supposedly used to make things easier to understand, however reductionism has several notable criticisms and limitations:

Oversimplification: Reductionism can oversimplify complex systems, potentially missing the emergent properties that arise when components interact. For example, understanding individual neurons doesn’t fully explain consciousness or human behaviour.

Loss of Context: By focusing on individual parts, reductionism may ignore the broader context and interactions within a system. This can lead to incomplete or misleading conclusions.

Neglect of Holistic Perspectives: Reductionism often contrasts with holistic approaches, which emphasize the importance of looking at systems as a whole. Holistic perspectives argue that the whole is more than the sum of its parts.

Limited Explanatory Power: In fields like psychology, reductionist explanations might fail to account for the complexity of human behaviour and mental processes, which are influenced by a myriad of biological, cognitive, and environmental factors.

Ethical and Practical Concerns: In medical and social sciences, reductionist approaches might lead to treatments or policies that don’t address the full scope of an issue, potentially causing harm or being ineffective.

Ethical concerns, bother me daily, multiple times during the day. I see the results of recent harms in reductionist public health policies walking all around. I see people in my clinic who are desperate to be listened to, heard, witnessed as they have been injured greatly by reductionist medicine, policies and practice.

I have struggled in this past year as to what to do to attempt to reduce the harm in society, to support people to understand and to provide knowledge and wisdom as to how to create autonomy in others so that they can gain confidence in being the expert on themselves.

So here is the apology.

I have provided a lot of content, which I have attempted to make into a thing of beauty, in contrast to the ugliness, the constant bad news and the negativity of the times.

I just wanted to do something.

And that something be an antedote to the absolute nonsense that is being vomited out right now.

My soul felt and feels grief on such a deep level from the events of recent times.

I truly love the mysteries of the central nervous system and all that I have learnt over my long and continuing journey of wisdom. I wanted to impart all of that to people who were also interested, needed the knowledge and who could pass on anything of use to other people in their lives.

I wanted to do this in an impersonal way as possible, just choosing to deliver the knowledge in a way that did not convey how I am feeling right now, but in a manner that I was intending could be useful and easy to implement.

I am not sure I have done the right thing.

The brain only really takes notice of negative nudges in the environment, with us needing three times the amount of positive to make up for the negative.

I know this, yet I did not want it to be true.

I wanted to be different.

I wanted my messages to be those of optimism, dare I say it hope (some of you will know my feelings around hope) and ones of beauty.

I am not sure they have hit the mark as much as if I had filled them with disaster, pain points and fear porn.

I am currently clearing my life and work decks, completing audits on what I need to do next. Stopping doing things of which there is not enough value exchange, to focus on that which is.

I am aware that these times have yet to get worse before they can get better.

Every emotion that I feel on a daily basis when I process them, all are founded in sadness.

I do not hold fear for what is to come, I am resilient, courageous and resourceful. My ancient hero of Odysseus and his wiliness are good companions. Fear does not underpin my emotional state.

Sadness for where we are, how we got here and where we are yet to go is my common state.

I have yet to ‘get over’ 2020/2021 and I am not sure I should as lessons have not been learnt. Indeed rhetoric and narrative is still dangerous, damning or just buried under yet more bad news.

I am in the midst of planning for a new world, for myself and those who see the urgency and need for one.

Well it is more a new civilisation, a new way of living, for we are arrogant if we believe that the Earth is going to cease to be.

I am going to use all my learning as a scientist and apply it as a polymath, one who is able to take a birds eye view. Seeing from above but being able to consider all the details, without reducing things to simplify or ignore.

As much as humanity likes to be distracted, put heads in the sand and deny what is happening, we are approaching a time when even the best ostrich will find that even the sand is not a safe place.

We can all be healthier, have higher levels of wellbeing and be in control of our own autonomy if we want to.

Courage I feel is a scarce commodity in the 21st Century but I urge you to find heart and stand up for what is good for you and refuse what is not.

I am still pondering my next steps but I will continue to fulfil my promises, obligations and plans in the interim.

Beware of reductionism, we are all worth so much more than that.

And to all of my peers, I respect you, I value you and I stand by you.

All of us might wish at times that we lived in a more tranquil world, but we don't. And if our times are difficult and perplexing, so are they challenging and filled with opportunity.