My Inner Grinch, plus one more thing....

Some personal musings, read right to the bottom ....

Each year we get to this time and I can feel my inner Grinch starting to stir. Now the Grinch is a complex fellow, who has felt so much pain and has so much cynicism that he detests this time of year, where he sees forced and fake merriment and frivolity.

Now I won’t bore you with the details of where and when my inner Grinch originated from, however surfice to say that each December 1st brings a set of challenges for me.

It is an oxymoron, as when I wake I feel the magic in the air. It is so still, so calm on December days in the UK. It is like the natural environment has agreed to take a deep sigh and relax into the darkness that is beckoning.

This magic is in complete contrast to the frenzy of the declaration to make this the ‘best Christmas ever,’ blared from every advertisment and billboard seen.

Now the Grinch was not a heartless fellow. In fact he had the greatest heart. It was just that his heart had felt the need to ice over, to stop any more pain. He had experienced meanness, nastiness and rejection from others. He just could not physically or emotionally take much more. He was alone with only his dog for company.

Any yet.

He was still drawn to the activities of the others. He still wanted others to know of the depth of his pain (by taking away their pleasure), which suggests that he had not given up on his tribe completely.

Now I am not in the business of taking away anyone’s Christmas but I yearn for signs of beauty. The symbols of December that make my heart sing and tears gather in my eyes. The glimpses of how human beings are really wired.

The reason I get so emotional is that this should not just be for Christmas, this should be everyday experiences.

The kindness of a stranger, the sweet voices of children singing, the shaking of hands, the gathering together of kindred spirits, breaking bread and telling stories that actually make a difference.

So my inner Grinch is a cynic of commercial Christmas and I know my heart is icy to forced merriment and shallow joyfulness. My memories of Christmas past when I was a little child -and a Grinch in waiting- are not of magic and togetherness, but more of a soap opera affair. Combine them all and you will get a picture of what I experienced.

My heart though is not completely frozen, and I have some anticipation that there possibly could be others who feel similar to me. Imagine little pockets of Grinches throughout the land who yearn for the kindness of the folk of Whoville to be shown every day, with seasonal variations to mark the cycle.

How amazing would that be?

So this December my three intentions (as per yesterday’s gift) are going to be this -

1. To bring beautiful music into my life each day. To really sit and listen, allowing it to resound and resonate throughout all of my cells.

2. To sit and meditate on the magic of December, to notice the changes in the environment, and to invite calm and serenity into my central nervous system. I will do this for just five minutes each day.

3. To be so kind to myself that it is brimming over then I have surplus kindness to give to others. If I am not kind to myself then I am not kind to others. Instead it is going to be either people pleasing or attention seeking, which is not how I want my December to be.

In these intentions I am reprogramming my hippocampus with new emotional meaning. Taking my trauma of Christmas past and transforming it to the magic of Christmas present and future.

We never quite realise the impact of doing what are seemingly simple things. It is not how simple the intention is. It is our commitment to doing it consistently that will change us.

I feel it is approaching the time for me to bid a fond farewell to my inner Grinch as I am working hard to create a better (and kinder) world. However I will never forget where my Grinch came from. Let him be the symbol of compassion for my younger and traumatised self.

Thank you for taking the time to read my work and my musings. I appreciate you so much as you appreciate me.

Dr Rachel x

“It came without ribbons, it came without tags. It came without packages, boxes, or bags.” — The Grinch

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Some of you may have had trouble opening your gift of anticipation workbook. Try HERE to download it.